#aspd Exception

[aspd-culture]

ASPD culture is finally having an exception person who you genuinely care about and who you think about often…

and then they go and ruin it. But you can’t really leave even if you’re furious and hurt because they’re still almost your exception person for whatever reason

aspd-culture-is

I feel this so much, but like make sure you’re keeping an eye on your relationships with Exceptions. I know it’s hell to do sometimes, but if an Exception is toxic or abusive they don’t deserve access to you. You can leave an Exception and it will suck but it’ll be better in the end if that person was toxic./gen

(Ack sorry forgot to put this on here) Plain text below the cut:

I feel this so much, but like make sure you’re keeping an eye on your relationships with Exceptions. I know it’s hell to do sometimes, but if an Exception is toxic or abusive they don’t deserve access to you. You can leave an Exception and it will suck but it’ll be better in the end if that person was toxic./gen

[mental-illness-bingo]

(Somewhat hopeful) vent:

My best friend and Exception moved a few states away a couple years ago. It stays hard for a long time, there’s no question about that. He moved in Jan 2020, so as you can probably imagine the plan was supposed to be “let me get settled in and then either I’ll come back to visit or you can come meet the people I moved in with and see the place”, but turned into us not seeing each other for 3 years in person. My heart broke daily for a few months. Weekly and sometimes more often for the rest of that time.

I fell into doing stupid stuff for a bit without realizing how much of it came from coping poorly with his absence. I called him when I got scared of who I was becoming every time but never made the connection because there were other circumstances pushing me to that too. I cut that out - unintentionally right before his first visit back. I couldn’t be happier or more proud of myself, especially for my accidental perfect timing.

It really didn’t stop until last year when he came to visit for the first time. It destroyed me when he left again, but I enjoyed every second. He visited again for a few days and is leaving today. While it still hurts like hell as the minutes are getting close to when he leaves for the airport in a few hours, there is something distinctly different than the pain used to be.

I know he’ll be back, and he brought up trying to have me come visit him sometime soon so I could start saving up to do that on this trip, so I know that the pain isn’t just me. He isn’t happy to leave in that he’s happy to not have me nearby. Him loving his home and the people he lives with and knows there doesn’t change that he loves me too (platonically; please learn how to tell yourself AND your friends that you love them). This visit made me realize that our friendship hasn’t changed at all. The way we feel about each other and the way we talk and laugh and stay up all night because sleep just doesn’t matter the same way it does with everyone else - none of that is different. It may happen less frequently, but it’s all the same. Put us in a room together and it’s still all the same. If anything, we’ve doubled down on all of that, but it wasn’t intentional. We didn’t have to think about “oh we should talk like we used to while we have the chance”, we just did it like we always have.

I don’t agree with what some people say - that the friendship will change when someone you love moves from walking distance to flying distance. I think that’s something you think will happen, but if the friendship is as close as we are at least, it surprises you that that doesn’t. Despite my hurt today, despite me crying even while typing this, despite the sobbing I know is coming after I walk back in my door, I know in my heart we’re the same.

I know that we are a matured version of the same kids that were everything for each other from the time we met through when we graduated. And I know that despite the (good but sometimes painful) fact that he has other people he can rely on too, we never stopped being everything for each other. More than one person can be that. More than one person can mean the world to you.

I’d live and die for him, and I have lived for him a million times when I didn’t want to. This is, I am certain, not the end of us at all. We are still so young. This is still just the beginning. There will be so much more to come.

I realized all of that this time. And now that it won’t be years between seeing each other (assuming things go to plan) - more importantly that I’ve had it proven to my brain that that really wasn’t what he wanted and was truly a product of the circumstances - I know I’ll be okay. All it is is a little extra time between those all nighters and some new pets for us to meet when we do hang out. And in the meantime, we keep learning more about ourselves so we get to know more about each other.

It has been and always will be an honor to have him in my life, and I look so fondly back on the stupid thing I said that day we met that got us here and fondly to wherever life brings this friendship next.

Friends may fall out of touch, but best friends very much can last a lifetime. I can’t see my life without him and I don’t want to learn how. He’s told me before that he feels the same.

All this to say that if anyone is struggling with someone you love moving away now, the growing pains will leave soon and be replaced with the knowledge and comfort that not a single nor a million miles can take away what you have. Text them. Call them. Make a group chat with them and the other people you love. Send a meme or cute picture of your cat. Remind yourself that you two still do talk even if it’s by a different method than it used to be - that the contact is still there. And, as soon as you can, plan a visit for those late night conversations and see that it’s all still there.

This time, some of these tears are tears of joy. With ASPD you often can’t tell if people care about you, but I made myself really listen to him this time every time he talked about us instead of getting in my head wondering if he hated me (though of course my brain still tried that) and noticed how often he both casually and emotionally spoke about our importance to each other.

We’re gonna be alright 🖤

[the-label-sanctuary]

・₊✧𝘈 𝘱𝘦𝘢𝘳𝘭𝘴𝘤𝘦𝘯𝘵 𝘵𝘦𝘳𝘮 𝘩𝘢𝘴 𝘣𝘦𝘦𝘯 𝘢𝘥𝘥𝘦𝘥 𝘵𝘰 𝘵𝘩𝘦 𝘴𝘢𝘯𝘤𝘵𝘶𝘢𝘳𝘺｡｡｡ -`♡´-

♡Exception Person♡

✧An Exception Person (EP/EXP) is a Special Person attachment that may be experienced within those with Antisocial Personality Disorder (ASPD). A person with ASPD (pwASPD) may feel more inclined to follow rules and have a sense of responsibility for the sake of their EP. The pwASPD’s symptoms may be dulled around their EP, such as being less likely to be angered as easily around their EP, and there may be no desire to lie or hurt their EP. ✧

✧ If the pwASPD hurts their EP, they may feel remorse they wouldn’t usually feel with others. However, this may make the pwASPD more anxious around their EP and protective of them due to this person being one of or the only thing they care about protecting.✧

For a full list of Special Person terms, I made this doc for a comprehensible list. If you'd like to use my PD flags as emojis, I made this discord server with them as heart emojis! (Originally made to react to my SPs messages)

DISCLAIMER: All of these terms already have existed in the community before I posted them. If you have genuine questions or concerns, feel free to reach out and I will try to work with you! These terms are meant to be inclusive of ALL experiences I have heard of or experienced myself, so I have no issue adding things if necessary. These posts are meant to be short and sweet descriptions, not full deep delves on what each means! Feel free to make your own deep dives posts about your own experiences with these and @ me, I’ll definitely repost as long as they’re done in a respectful manner. 

[cluster-b-culture-is]

loveless aspd culture is always freezing up when youre asked what you like about someone you know and just giving a two word response like “theyre funny” or “theyre nice” because you genuinely cannot answer the question

.

[woodbyne]

   ＠ Exception person

A flag for those who are exception people to a pwASPD.

[Plain text start: Exception person. A flag for those who are exception people to a pwASPD .Plain text end]

[starfilled-galaxy]

Omori AU where Hero has ASPD and struggles with feeling grief and the year where he's bedrotting after Mari's death isn't because of grieving but because of severe guilt over the fact that he isn't grieving, wondering if that means he never really cared about her, thinking he's a horrible person for "not caring", and then double the thinking he's a horrible person once he realizes he's worrying over himself instead of actually caring about Mari's death, and that loops a million times over as he spirals into self hatred

...It could also be a headcanon if you aren't a coward /silly

[starlightseraph]

[aemiron-main]

i keep thinking about the way brenner boops henry’s nose on broadway LMAO like he really was brenner’s little pet

[redclown19]

Day 18 of Cringetober! I suddently remembered the High School AU i did in 2022 after watching the Batman movie. Going to write in the tags how i envisioned them. :3

[aspd-culture]

ASPD culture is: Wracking your brain trying to understand why your exception person is an exception person.

He’s not even exceptional. He’s just the only person who can make me laugh. And I have absolutely no idea why that is. I can’t for the life of me figure it out. He’s not special. He doesn’t serve any special purpose for me. He’s actually quite average. He’s…normal. But for some reason he’s the one person I can stand being around for longer than 30 minutes. Maybe it’s because he doesn’t judge me when I share an unmasked thought? But it doesn’t explain why he makes me happy when no one else can.

It’s so fucking confusing, and honestly a little embarrassing—and I don’t get embarrassed easily—that for some reason I’m so attached. Like what do you mean there’s someone out there who has me wondering what they’d like for dinner, or who I’d just get up and do chores for. What do you mean there’s someone out there that I’m genuinely considerate of? It’s never happened before. I wasn’t even that attached to my own parents.

Anyway. We love the anon function, because no fucking way am I saying sappy shit like this with my name on it.

Too real, yeah. I honestly think Exceptions happen with little to no rhyme or reason sometimes. My biggest Exception besides my Mom that I have had in my life for more than half of it literally happened when I made one of my dry jokes that usually pushed other kids away and instead he burst out laughing. Since that day, for that, I have my best friend hopefully for the rest of my life. It's wild how that shit happens and it makes me wonder if this is what prosocial connections are like? Like do they, for no other reason than because of one single joke, make foundational relationships ALL THE TIME? That sounds exhausting.

Plain text below the cut:

Too real, yeah. I honestly think Exceptions happen with little to no rhyme or reason sometimes. My biggest Exception besides my Mom that I have had in my life for more than half of it literally happened when I made one of my dry jokes that usually pushed other kids away and instead he burst out laughing. Since that day, for that, I have my best friend hopefully for the rest of my life. It's wild how that shit happens and it makes me wonder if this is what prosocial connections are like? Like do they, for no other reason than because of one single joke, make foundational relationships ALL THE TIME? That sounds exhausting.

[mad-pride]

is there a term for like the general [x]p's for pwPDs? like fp, ep/chp, etc ? i swear there was one but i forgor...

I guess? I know this flag and I saw similar flags around such concepts in that blog (@paranoid-and-pretentious). You could also see @pdsarchive, @bpdarchive, and @pdhoard which are specific. Looking through this tag by @radiomogai, I found this coining of person of interest (POI) by @loupgaroualejardin. I guess we just reblogged several flags related to these concepts (which I'm not familiar enough with the macrofamily/umbrella yet) recently, or not. If you found a blog that posts many of such flags, ask them.

@dependencypersonality also used the term archetype, but I'm not sure if it's the same thing it references to. Tag/send it to us if you find.

[culpability-and-i]

I'm starting to think that the psychologists I saw may've missed some things as now that I've decided to jump down the rabbit hole of ASPD info, it seems to click with me. Then again, I very well could have both ASPD and ASD (or maybe I just have a no empathy and fixation over people type of ASD. Idk if that last bit exists, so feel free to enlighten me) as I definitely show ASD related symptoms like sensory issues and special interests. (My only on file diagnosis is ASD, but professional's I've seen have also commented about PTSD and OSDD)

**Note that I'm not using this for self diagnosis, just as a way to better make note of symptoms I experience and comment on them

1: I don't have any close relationships to maintain and don't particularly care; therefore I have no answer to how easy or difficult that is. Typically, my interest in someone (friend or otherwise) fades after a month. I only work to maintain a friend/relationship when I'm fixated on a person, which does border on obsession at times. I really don't need to be obsessing over someone when they absoloutely do not think of me the same way since it only makes me angry and irritated when they don't feel the same way (how hard is it for my brain to understand that people, generally speaking, do not like weird obsessive freaks, unless they're also a freak, in which case, hit me up /hj). 2: I can understand in theory from the lens of looking at it logically, but this has no effect on my feelings about the matter and I remain unbothered and uncaring.

Other notes: The seventh box perplexed me a little, lol, because are there seriously people out there who do things for other people/for no reason when it gives them nothing in return? Seems whack. My intolerance for boredom is so bad that when I am not fixated on something/have something to do I automatically get sent into a spiral that can lead to self harming behaviour's or suicide attempts. Whether or not I experience stress in stressful situations really depends on what part is around. Tbh, I could just not have ASPD and instead just have a bunch of parts that identify with the symptoms due to their personalities that were made Like That due to trauma - although since that is most parts in the system, I wonder if that would quantify a diagnosis anyway, if most parts except two experience these symptoms? Again, like the seventh question, the final one has me going?? Is that not a normal thing?? My internal hierarchy goes something like this, from lowest to highest:

General Public/Pawns -> Friends/Entertainment -> Partner/Special Entertainment -> Fixated Person/Obsession *Usually the Partner/Fixated Person are the same thing.

I could probably make it more detailed, but I really don't care enough to do that and this post is long enough as it.

I'm kinda just ranting but I'd like to hear people's thoughts if anyone has something to say.

[the-label-sanctuary]

・₊✧𝘈 𝘱𝘦𝘢𝘳𝘭𝘦𝘴𝘤𝘦𝘯𝘵 𝘵𝘦𝘳𝘮 𝘩𝘢𝘴 𝘣𝘦𝘦𝘯 𝘢𝘥𝘥𝘦𝘥 𝘵𝘰 𝘵𝘩𝘦 𝘴𝘢𝘯𝘤𝘵𝘶𝘢𝘳𝘺｡｡｡ -`♡´-

♡Exceptionpersontive/EXPtive♡

✧Exceptionpersontive or EXPtive is an introject of a pwASPD’s Exception Person. The Exceptionpersontive may be part of a ASPD System, or a ASPDbased system. They may be considered factives. Alternate flag to the one made by @the-iris-network-mogai.✧

✧These terms were coined to be exclusive to systems/individuals with AntisocialPersonality Disorder.✧

✧Made in collaboration with @the-crystalized-cosmos✧

Tagging: @the-iris-network-mogai @radiomogai

! If you would like to be tagged in my posts feel free to ask !

For a full list of Special Person terms, I made this doc for a comprehensible list. If you'd like to use my PD flags as emojis, I made this discord server with them as heart emojis! (Originally made to react to my SPs messages)

DISCLAIMER: All of these terms already have existed in the community before I posted them. If you have genuine questions or concerns, feel free to reach out and I will try to work with you! These terms are meant to be inclusive of ALL experiences I have heard of or experienced myself, so I have no issue adding things if necessary. These posts are meant to be short and sweet descriptions, not full deep delves on what each means! Feel free to make your own deep dives posts about your own experiences with these and @ me, I’ll definitely repost as long as they’re done in a respectful manner. 

[cluster-b-culture-is]

Cluster b culture is going thru the

Oh yeah I'm awesome -> [minor inconvenience in relation of FP/exception/equal] -> do they hate me?? I'm horrible. I should have never spoke. -> [they apologize] -> oh yeah we are back

Pipeline CONSTANTLY

.

[anarcho-masochist]

It's interesting how lately, in aspd circles, I've seen some people referring to relationships where they feel love/caring or a similar attachment as "exceptions" as in, as a relationship category. People are talking about their exceptions.

This is all fine and great. It is possibly very useful because you can distinguish between someone you actually got attached to and other partners.

But it's really funny seeing people talking about their exceptions as if they've had many of them. I don't think this is harmful either, but at what point does it stop being an exception to care or love and start being that you do normally have that capacity, possibly even at a level approaching what prosocials experience?

Every symptom is on a spectrum, capacity to care/love included. Many antisocials hate the idea that they're expected to not feel those things just because of their diagnosis.

So I just wanted to point out that it's not a bad thing if the person you care about this time isn't an exception, per say. It doesn't necessarily make you less antisocial.

I don't know where that line would be drawn, but I do think it is interesting to think about why someone would/wouldn't label their love an exception.